Trends in Communication: Appearing To Be Gracious…Or Is It?
I have noticed a trend in communication and it’s rather interesting. It’s a communication technique that often erodes and contaminates the connection between people, family, friends and readers. Furthermore, it’s centered on the not-so-subtle words, ” Not trying to hurt feelings, but...” or “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but…”
The sentiments: “Not trying to hurt feelings but,…I don’t want to hurt your feelings but,…” on the surface appear to be helpful, benevolent and gracious. The true meaning of these phrases is not connected with a kindred spirit of kindness or tact. However, it is a reflection of the contempt that the speaker or writer feels towards the person they are addressing.
I recently saw the words, “Not trying to hurt feelings, but…” in a blog of an acquaintance. This particular posting piqued my interest as I read it, and I wondered, “Why are such ungracious words being posted in a public forum, rather than sending a private email to the other blogger/writer?
What I found most interesting was this posting contained a message to an author of another blog, and the message was very clear. Apparently, the writer of, “Not trying to hurt feelings, but…” in my opinion, had very little respect for the other writer and appears threatened by the other blogger.
As I read more of their posting, the message took on a life of its own…along with the display of the most outrageous sense of entitlement and self-absorption I’ve ever encountered. I found all of this extremely amusing!!
My question is: Has the art of graciousness been replaced by jealousy, acrimony, and wanton spite under the guise of being gracious?
I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on this topic.